The kids are coming!

We have the sibling group again this weekend and I've been thinking of projects and recipes and little excursions to keep them busy. I'm hoping that work is not too insane on Friday so I can pick them up early. I'm excited to see them!!

I'm going to have Natalie help me bake cupcakes (of course). Mini chocolate ones with cherry icing :) She loves to help me in the kitchen.

Farmie is going to take Nathan on the ranger and go have some boy fun.

Our neighbors are leasing two of our horses so I will ask the kids if they want to help me walk the horses over. The neighbors daughter is going to be doing 4-H and one of our geldings will be great for her. He is so sweet and he absolutely loves attention. He's like a big dog. They will be pampered and the neighbors will have much more time to devote to them than we do. Plus they are so close by that we can check on them anytime. It's an ideal situation for all of us, including the horses.

My Day Away

I had a great time with my friend J. We had dinner at Bonefish. The crab cakes were super yummy, but neither one of us were impressed with the main courses. I had salmon with lobster and J had bacon wrapped scallops. I think we saw the exact scallops the next day at Costco, but Bonefish is a great place for appetizers I guess! J and I always have a great time and never run out of things to talk about. He's one of my oldest friends and I certainly cherish him.

We did end up going to the gay bar, but didn't stay long. It was boring so we went to another friend's house that we both went to high school with. We played cards and she talked about her kids. I will call her T. T used to do foster care, both long term and emergency placements, but her life has changed drastically in the last couple of years. She got divorced from her husband and he took both of her biological children. Around the time of the divorce she was really depressed and started seeing a therapist. The husband subpoenaed her therapist and used her personal sessions against her during the divorce. They used her depression as a reason to show that she was an unfit mother. She can only see her children during supervised visits with the husband there. There are always two sides to every story, but since high school she's always been very sweet. I know she has had substance abuse issues, but she didn't mention that as being a reason for the kids being with their dad. I can't imagine what it would feel like to go from being the person that cares for other people's children to being the mother that loses her children.

It's amazing how just a little time away makes you see things from a different perspective. I become grateful all over again for Farmie and the life we have. It makes me appreciate him so much more when I'm able to have just a little time to myself. I get to the point sometimes where I feel like I give and give and give to everyone else and I feel myself saying, "Hey! What about me???!!!" When I reach that point I just need to make time to myself. It's important to step out of the daily routine and allow yourself to have a little fun. I felt like a high school kid without a curfew :) And it felt great!!

Needing a break

Work has been insane this week. I've been putting out fires all week and just feel totally spent. I feel like running away for a day and that's just what I'm going to do!!!

I'm leaving today early from work and meeting up with a close friend of mine from high school. We always have such a great time together. He's gay and he loves to shop :) We're going to a nearby town and are going to have dinner at a cute little bistro I found online and then after that we're heading somewhere for drinks. He's found a gay bar so I might get talked into going there with him. Tomorrow will be all about shopping. It will nice to be out of town so I can blow off a little steam!!

Award from Eyes Open Wider

Thank you Eyes Open Wider for nominating me :) This time I will be able to reply within a timeframe I'm not embarrassed of!!!

7 THINGS ABOUT MYSELF THAT READERS MAY NOT KNOW:

1) Pet peeve: I can't stand it when someone nervously taps or fiddles with something. It drives me bonkers!

2) I used to ride endurance rides as a kid. My longest ride was 30 miles when I was ten.

3) I love the smell of Mississippi and love the way the dirt feels under my feet.

4) I have a box in the basement full of my personal writings

5) I lose my appetite when I'm upset or frustrated

6) My mother broke her collar bone while riding horses when I was 8 and she blamed me

7) All of my childhood pets were sold or shot except the horse that died two years ago on my property. I had her since I was 4.

This is all a little melodramatic today, but that's my mood!!!

Nominations:

Carmel @ On Our Way
Linda @ Faith Makes Things Possible
The Mamas @ Mama Drama Times Two
Karen @ Daily Life Sanford Style
Melissa @ Full Circle
Tudu @ Finishing Off My Family
Cloudmaster @ Life Goes On and On

Award...never too late right???!!!

Thank you Carmel (On Our Way), Linda (Faith Makes Things Possible), Karen (Daily Life Sanford Style) and The Mamas (Mama Drama Times Two) for nominating my blog!! (And for anyone else out there that nominated me too!)

Here goes:

Where is your cell phone? permanently attached to my hand

Your hair? shoulder length, trying to grow it out for the wedding

Your mother? a challenge

Your father? Daddy

Your favorite food? my grandpa's gumbo

Your dream last night? work

Your favorite drink? San Pellegrino Limonata

Your dream/goal? have a successful career, but at the same time personal growth and improving the lives of others

What room are you in? office

Your hobby? bloggin

Your Fear? failure

Where do you want to be in 6 years? I better have a baby around permanently and be with a man I love

Where were you last night? at home

Something that you aren’t? bored

Muffins? I prefer cupcakes

Wish list item? more time

Where did you grow up? all over

Last thing you did? emailed, answered phone, multitasked!

What are you wearing? blue sweater, work slacks, black heels

Your TV? thank goodness for Tivo

Your pets? 4 horses, 2 pigs, 2 dogs, and recently...4 kittens (Farmie is deciding what two he wants to keep since our house cat was killed by coyotes :(

Friends? if I had more time, I could cultivate that a little more, but I have 3 best friends I've known since I was a teenager

Your life? blessed

Your mood? pesimistic lately

Missing someone? yes

Vehicle? SUV

Something you’re not wearing? coat

Your favorite store? outlets, Banana Republic & Calvin Klein

Your favorite color? blue

When was the last time you laughed? Saturday

Last time you cried? last night

One place that I go to over and over? a few different downtown restaurants

One person who emails me regularly? my dad

Favorite place to eat? downtown


I think anyone I would nominate has already been nominated since I'm ridiculously tardy!!!!!

Work Work Work

I work. I work while eating, while dreaming. My life these last few weeks has been a tornado of paperwork and appointments and putting out fires. I know I need a break from everything. I'm craving time to myself. I just want to tuck away somewhere for a weekend. I don't want to have to do anything for anyone else, not even Farmie. I want time away, some peace and quiet. A hot bath, silence, no cell phone, no schedule.

Farmie doesn't understand this. He takes it personal. Some days I come home and I have nothing left to give.

Finding balance in life between my relationship and my own needs is one of the hardest things I have yet to master.

I hope we both find a way through this. There has to be a way.

Sibling Group

We've noticed changes with Natalie, Nathan and Baby J. With each visit Natalie becomes more comfortable. She minds well and loves to help me in the kitchen. She puts great effort into being helpful and doing things to get praise, which I'm happy to dish out. I let her help me every time I cook a meal. Her favorite thing is to help me with marinades. I use the packets you get from the store that have tons of different flavors. I take a plastic bag and put two slices of chicken, pork or steak and marinade them a couple days in the frig and then store in the freezer. We take one out in the morning to thaw during the day for dinner. Natalie helps hold the bag while I put in the ingredients and she is the designated "shaker" and makes sure that the marinade is throroughly blended. I've had visions of a bag breaking and marinade splattering all over the kitchen and ceiling, but that hasn't happened yet and I hope it never does.

Natalie was so happy when I told her that we were cooking one of "her" marinades for dinner. When we all sat down for dinner she looked at Farmie eagerly. When he took the first bite she asked, "How do you like my cookin?" Farmie told her it was delicious and I was trying to control my laughter. It was the cutest thing ever and I couldn't help but notice how proud Natalie was.

Nathan's behavior has gone the opposite direction. From what we've seen of the grandparents dynamic with the children he is their "favorite" and goes places all of the time alone with his grandpa while Natalie doesn't seem to get the one on one time that she needs. Nathan has a hard time taking direction and has to be redirected constantly and reminded of rules and asked repeatedly to do certain tasks. We have at least one time out a day, which isn't bad, but it could be better. He is a very sweet little boy, but I think he gets away with a lot at home.

Baby J greets us with a "life is boring" face (don't know how else to describe it) and leaves smiling. It takes him a while to warm up, but once he does he's such a little lover. He loves to say "Whoah!!!" and points at everything and says "What?" He no longer wants his bottle and he's become more of a picky eater. He holds his sippy cup like a pro and is starting to reach out for the spoon and makes attempts to feed himself. He's walking and exploring and we're seeing more and more of his little personality.

I miss them every day they aren't with us.