Sunday, March 29, 2015

Adoption Timeline

Farmie and I have decided that we're going to start the adoption process again at the end of August.  I've decided that I will talk to our birth mom about our plan just so she knows.  I feel like that's the right thing to do since she has brought up having a sibling so many times.  Farmie just feels that he doesn't want to wait for her to get pregnant.  He just turned 43 and he doesn't want to be 45 and having to compete with other adoptive couples.  He's concerned that his age would affect us being chosen and it might, but I know that the right person will choose us regardless of age.  We also want to have a sibling close to our son.  He will be close to turning 2 around that time and I think that would be a good age to start the process.

I don't know how our birth mom will react to us deciding to move forward with another adoption.  I hope she'll understand our reasons.  Regardless, it will be a tough conversation to have.



Tuesday, January 27, 2015

HELP: Ovulation Med Suggestions??

I wanted to ask those of you that have had success with just ovulation meds what regimen worked for you.  My friend started with Clomid for 4 months and is now taking Letrozole, which concerns her because of the link to birth defects.  She's looking for other options, but lives in a very small town and has to basically tell her doctor what to prescribe.

What worked best for you?

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Baby #2

After our son turned one I really started feeling the pressure of a sibling and that old infertile worry started to creep in.  I can't say that it's an exterior influence either.  People have been asking about baby #2, but I began thinking about it on a daily basis all on my own after his birthday.  Our birth mom has had multiple conversations with me about baby #2 and last month she called saying that she needed to go get a pregnancy test because she thought she was pregnant.  It turned out that she wasn't, but for our son it would be the best scenario for him.  He'd have at least a half biological sibling.

The process of IVF and infertility and adoption gradually made me realize the hard way that we have no control over what happens in our lives and creating a family.  I'm having to remind myself that whoever is meant to join our family will in their own time and with their own path.  The biggest part I guess is fear.  I'm afraid that his birth mom might not get pregnant again in the next couple of years.  I'm afraid of him being an only child like I was.  I'm afraid of him not having the blessing of looking at a brother or sister and seeing his eyes or his nose or his little chin.  The anxiety comes from not knowing when or how any of this could happen.

A close friend is 5 months into starting infertility meds.  I see in her where I was years ago and all I want to do is help and fix it.  Last time we talked I suggested they try IUIs.  She touches base each time another month fails just to vent.  Even though what we went through and continue to go through is hard our marriage survived IVF.  I survived without any effects that I'm aware of.  Our experience allows me to be there for my friend and give her what I could only find in the blog world and I'm grateful for that.

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength."- Corrie Ten Boom

Worry trades the joy of now for the unlikely catastrophes of later. ~Tim Fargo

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Leftover baby food?!

Our son loved the baby food packets for a while, but he's decided that he's a big boy and would rather feed himself.  If I try the packets with a spoon or just allowing him to eat directly from it he spits it out.  I tried making smoothies for a while with the leftover baby food and that worked for a bit, but I noticed he would end up wasting most of it.  One packet make over an 8 oz smoothie and they only keep for a couple days.  Plus some flavors he liked more than others.  So I decided to try to make crackers with it. 

Success! 

I made 3 different batches from leftover flavors of Peter Rabbit Organics and Love Child Organics

Recipe: One packet (brands vary from 4 to 4.4 oz in each packet but I didn't notice a difference in the batches), 1/4 teaspoon salt, 1/2 teaspoon baking powder, 1/4 cup of oil (I used olive oil). Mixed it all together and then added 1 cup of flour. Rolled it out on a floured baking sheet then cut with a pizza cutter. The thinner ones cooked best. 375 for 20 mins. I've read online where these should last 3 months. Great substitute for some of the name brand organic crackers or biscuits that we're constantly buying.  I actually ate some myself with a little hummus and it was really good :)


Sunday, December 7, 2014

Leftover Baby Food

Our son decided a while ago that he was done with baby food.  He will no longer suck from the packets or eat it from the spoon.  This is a problem because I have a stockpile of organic baby food!!!  I was just thinking today that I might end up having today donate it, but then I thought of trying a "smoothie" in his sippy cup.  I emptied a packet into one of his 4 oz Lifefactory bottles that convert to sippy cups and added a little water and handed it to him.  He drank half of it after his meal!  Success!!  Just wanted to share.  It's so simple, but saved me from being unable to use all the baby food I have hoarded in the basement.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Removing Toxins

I've been really health conscious when it comes to everything for the baby.  I bought all organic baby food and posted about it here when we were going through that stage of first food and our son was and still is on organic formula.  I chose organic or natural lotions, medicine, skin care etc.  It took a lot of research to pick the items we use, but it was well worth it in my mind.

I decided to finally do the same for myself.  We eat mainly organic at home and it feels good to put that food in front of Farmie and our son knowing that it's the best we can do without owning a farm!  We had chickens once and Farmie was so distraught about one getting killed by a neighbor's dog that I vowed that we could never own chickens again.  The grocery store or local market is the closest we'll get to source of our food and I'm good with that.

After IVF I felt so pumped full of all sorts of chemicals and hormones.  I learned early on not to google side effects or read too much about what I was actually having to put in my body.  I started juicing to detox.  I took pills to detox.  I did colonics...until I no longer had to make them stop because I was going to vomit.  The technician told me that they only saw that with people that had been on heavy medications for pain or illness.  Yeah, wonderful...  But I can say that I feel almost completely back to normal.

So the next step for me was what I use on my skin and hair.  I was searching non-toxic makeup online and found Beautycounter.  The banner is at the top of my blog ^^^  I signed up because I fell in love with their mission and what they're doing with the cosmetic industry.  There are some crazy facts I learned, one being that the UK has banned about 1300 ingredients in cosmetics and the US has only restricted the use of 11...  I learned that a lot of lipstick contains LEAD.  Yep, LEAD, as in the chemical on the periodical table, that stuff that the government has gone out of their way to remove from paint for homes.  And if you use lipgloss or lipstick you know your practically eating it.

I wanted to share this with everyone because honestly when I first found this company part of me was excited to try everything, but then another part of me was really annoyed that I hadn't heard about it before.  I was also frustrated with all of the ingredients that are in the cosmetic brands that I had been using for years.  You just assume that someone is in charge and someone is regulating what companies can create for consumers.  I guess in reality there are some regulations even though no new ones have been passed since 1938!!

I believe with all of the cancer rates and diseases and allergies that we are seeing increasing with every generation there are small things that we can all do to hopefully protect ourselves and our family.

Off my soap box!  Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!


Monday, November 17, 2014

A year tomorrow!

It's so hard to believe that our little man will be a year old tomorrow.  It's hard to put into words how our world has changed, but a few things I know for sure:

My marriage isn't just between me and Farmie anymore.  We owe it to this little guy to be the best couple we can be and it's been pretty awesome.  We need to put more effort into date nights...we've only had like two, but we're both kind of homebodies.  Regardless, though we need time out just the two of us.

My gratitude for our birth mom has only expanded and become stronger.  There really isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her.  I still talk to her at least once a week.  She called me this week saying that she's ready to start talking about baby #2.  It overwhelms me with emotion because she's so selfless.  She is willing to get pregnant, go through a pregnancy and give us another baby because she wants this little guy to have a sibling.  She told me that she knows that either way we will adopt another baby so that he's not an only child and she would rather have it be her.  She amazes me and our son is so lucky to have her as his birth mom.  Anything can happen, we've learned that through the IVF process, but I do hope that our son can have a biological sibling.  I think if there are any challenges for him or worries from being adopted that would help in some way.

Our son is my priority.  Work is nice, money is nice, but he's number one.  I've continued to work this past year, but as he gets older and especially adopting a second baby, I know I will need to reduce my work load even more.  It's a hard thing for me to let go of because I was raised that your value is in what you produce and contribute.  Plus, it's a tough thing for me to become more dependent financially on Farmie.  It's hard for me to let go on that.  I was raised to never depend on a man or anyone else for that matter,  but I know this is what's best for us as a family and I'll make changes when I know I need to.

I'm thankful every single day for the blessing of this little man in our lives.  He is such a happy baby and is so curious about everything.  He's stubborn and he's funny.  He loves music and dancing.  He loves his Grandpa and they somehow have the same smile.  He loves wrestling with his dad in the evenings.  He's the most amazing gift.

He took his first steps this Saturday and I'm pretty sure his first word is officially "Dude...".  I don't know what I did to deserve him, but all I can do is be the best mom I can possibly be.