A couple extra minutes

A kid that worked for us found me online today. I'll call him Tom for the sake of the blog. He started chatting with me on instant messenger. He just turned 18 recently. Farmie and I met Tom last year when he was working for a fence company on our property. He also helped us with a few extra odd jobs and spent a day with us clearing land. He's a very intelligent and funny kid. When he was working for us he talked all day. He dropped in some comments that made me think he was drinking regularly and experimenting with drugs. He also explained that his dad had kicked him out of his house because he was hanging out with people not associated with his church and refusing to go to church. His parents are uuber religious, they are Jehovah Witness. When the church rejects you, your whole family is expected to do the same. So his dad kicked him out and then he tried to live with his mom. She's an alcoholic and they fought all the time and he eventually had to move out of her house too. He was living with friends and moving around on a regular basis. You can imagine my reaction when he was telling us this story. In the back of my mind I was thinking that he could come live with us. I actually even talked to Farmie about it, but he refused. He likes Tom, but he wasn't wanting to open our home to him like I was.

A week or so after he was done with his work at our house he stopped by to get his last payment and I chatted with him a little about his circumstances. I know with teenagers it's a delicate thing to try to insert some advice here and there, but I felt like I had to talk to him. He reminded me too much of myself. I sat on the porch and I just started talking:

"My father was an alcoholic and I avoided my house at all costs. I did drugs and I hung out with people that I shouldn't have. I've made a lot of bad choices, but at some point I made the choice to change. I cleaned up my life and a few years later I met [Farmie]. [Farmie] has made my life more stable than ever and I'm grateful for that. You're a smart kid and you've got so much potential. You can do or be anything you want, but the choices you make right now are crucial. Anyone can be a loser but it takes a man to make good choices. It takes a man not to become a product of your environment."

Like every teenager, his only response to all of this was a few nods while looking at the ground and "I know." When he was leaving he picked a flower and handed it to me and said, "Thank you."

Almost a year later I was happy to learn today that he's living in a lake house. He made friends with a very wealthy family and they've essentially taken him in and treated him as if he was their own son. He hardly pays any rent and they have given him a truck to use. He's working construction and saving up money. It really sounds like he's made good choices and maybe taking that extra couple of minutes with him that day made a little difference in his life.