Oh M Gee

There's so much going on right now it's insane. Our house sale is moving forward and we may have to move as soon as Thursday. We haven't put a deposit down on a rental yet. Hoping we will do that tomorrow. We keep going back and forth between two different homes and I finally told Farmie he just needs to decide and get on with it.

Work has also picked up this week so I will be busy at the office. Speaking of the office...I almost cried in my office today. This is not a good thing since it has 3 walls made of windows where everyone walking by can see in. I've been so emotional lately and I don't know if it's because I'm knocked up or it could also be because of the meds or the fact that this whole process is emotional... I don't know. But I was reading a news article about a little girl in Colorado Springs that escaped from her kidnapper. Read it here if you want. I almost started crying right there at my desk. I had to just close out the page and move on to something work related and try not to start sobbing.

Then on top of it a co-worker that I've known forever and is my mom's age knows what we are going through. I've told her to be quiet about it in the office, but what does she say when she gets in this morning while my office door is wide open? "How's mama?" DEAR GOD... I'm sure at least two other co-workers heard and it's probably already spread like wildfire...

Every little slight movement or sensation in my lower abdomen doesn't go unnoticed anymore. People that I've talked to that know we are going through this have said that I will "just know". Well I'm sorry, I don't just know. If I knew for sure I wouldn't be constantly concerned about how I'm going to deal with the aftermath if this doesn't work.

I officially refuse to talk to our nurse. Any communication we have to have with the clinic goes through Farmie. I'm so fed up with her I feel my neck vein start to pop out just thinking about how many times she has caused more issues during this already rollercoaster ride process.

I had a F*cebook meltdown yesterday. There was an article that a midwife page posted about how soon there will be babies that are born with 3 parents. Read it here if you want. So I saw this and read the article and then I looked through the comments on the midwife page. People's responses were HORRIBLE. One woman compared this procedure of making human life to genetically modified food... she didn't agree with that and she didn't agree with this either. How can people be so rude? What if that was her only option for a healthy child with her partner? So of course, I posted a comment. A half hour later Farmie asks me about the comment. I ask him how he saw it and he said it was in his news thread. WTH?! None of my comments show up on my page, but it shows in a news thread? I was so upset because that meant that ALL of my friends on FB just saw my comment and I specifically mentioned that we were going through IVF. I deleted the comment and a meltdown followed... I sobbed over FB. I'm either knocked up or mental. Possibly both...maybe just mental.

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday is the day! If it's bad news I'm canceling the rest of the day and having a solo happy hour(s).