Taking Back My Happiness

It's amazing the difference your mindset makes.  After DECIDING not to allow this to control my life anymore I've noticed a difference.  Farmie has noticed a difference.  I'm happy again.

I'm not naive.  I know I will still have my moments, but overall I'm not allowing myself to dwell anymore.  Life's too short.

When I start to wonder:

"What if things had happened differently?"
"What if I had ended up with someone else? "
"Why is this happening?"
"When will we get pregnant?"
"How will we get pregnant?"
"What should I be doing?"
"What is the next step?"
"What is the right thing to do?"
"What if this affects my health?"
"What if this ruins my marriage?"
"What if we let everyone down?"
"What if we never have children?"
"What if we adopt and I regret it?"
and the mental obsessions go on and on...

When I start to wonder about these things I dismiss it.  I just don't allow the thoughts to continue.  I focus on how much I love my life.  I focus on how the world is wide open for us.

I remind myself of who I was before all of this and tell myself to get over it.  I don't have no control so I have to let it go.

Changing this thought process has been enlightening and I can't say that I wish I would have done it early because I don't think I was ready.  There are so many stages in any lesson.  And you can't skip one and head to the next before you've taken in what you needed.