Baby Shower

I attended a baby shower yesterday.  I dreaded it a little, but then at the same time I was excited because it was for an old friend that I don't get to see much anymore.  We keep in touch, but with our schedules it's hard to make time to get together in person.  I met her when I was 22 and I had first moved to town.  We grew up a lot in the years that we worked together and hung out on the weekends...when life was carefree, when we were single and our priorities were different.

The baby shower to my surprise was painless for the most part.  I thought it would make me irritated and contemplate our infertility all over again.  But it didn't.  I dutifully smiled and made "that's so cute" comments as she opened bag after bag of gifts.  I let her take my hand and put it on her belly.  I listened to her concerns about the delivery, her concerns about her husband helping out with a new baby, the baby names, the nursery.  I played the pin-the-sperm-on-the-uterus-diagram-while-blindfolded-and-being-spun-around-game.  I think it helped to have another friend with me that knew about our struggles.  She might not have even realized my hesitation/concerns about attending the baby shower.  I didn't discuss it with her, but her presence was helpful.  The mom to be knows about our struggles too so maybe she was being delicate with me as well.

The only part that stung a little was when the host announced that she was pregnant too.  She didn't know what 'it" was yet.  She started joking about how the "pull out" method didn't work.  She seemed bitter and unimpressed by her own pregnancy.  But I guess that would be normal for a single woman in her mid 30's who probably is taking on a pregnancy expecting to be a single working mom.  How can I expect her to still see what a blessing her pregnancy is?  How can I expect her to be conscious of her comments when she doesn't know anything about my struggle?

I left the baby shower with a hug from the mom to be and a very sincere thank you from her that was more about my attendance I think than the gift I brought.  I told her that if she ever needed help or if she ever needed a break from the baby or to vent that I would be there.

Today I woke up in a good mood, no less grateful or appreciative of my life exactly the way it is.