Waiting

Learning to have patience during this process is continuous.  I've felt many times "Ok, I've got the hang of this."  Then something else happens and I have to relearn a new form of patience, of letting go, just letting things be.  

I haven't heard anything from the clinic.  I'm just going to notify them when I get my next period and go from there.  I have friends wanting to make plans in April and I can't do anything at this point since we don't know what the schedule will be like.  That's frustrating, but on the scale of problems I could have it is very minor.

While waiting for our IVF dates I've been thinking a lot lately of what I could be doing with my time.  I've been thinking a lot about my career.  I've asked myself in an ideal world what would my life look like.  With or without kids, what would I want out of life?

I love writing.  I'm a twice published author.  It's my passion, not my career.  If I could write my own story I would have a collection of short stories and one day one of them would be made into a movie that I could be proud of.  These last couple weeks I've realized that there is nothing holding me back from accomplishing that dream.  With IVF I've learned that anything can happen.  I think that goes both ways.  Good things can come to you just as easily as challenges.  Over these next couple months I'm going to focus on my writing and make time to write a couple stories.  I enjoy it.  It makes me happy.  It's something I can create and control and make completely my own.

So while I'm waiting I might as well make something I love.