Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Birth mom call

I reached out to our birth mom for her address before Mother's Day.  I wanted to send her a little card and something special just to let her know we were thinking of her.  She asked if she could call me and we ended up talking for about 45 mins.  I learned that she was actually doing really well.  She had blocked a lot of friends and family and seems to really be in a good place.  The blocking is a good thing in her case.  It was a relief to hear.  She told me that she reads my letter I wrote her all the time and hopefully it has helped her.  

She also asked me if we would be adopting more children.  I told her that we would love to and that we didn't want Jones to be an only child.  She said, "Well, that's good to know.  You know me, fertile myrtle." and laughed.  I wasn't completely surprised by this, but it was much sooner than I expected.  I would love for him to have a bio sibling.  I told her that although we would be thrilled she needs to focus on her right now and she agreed.  But she told me that if she did get pregnant that I would be the first to know and that maybe the next time we wouldn't have to go through the agency and could just use an attorney.  It's such a strange conversation to be having with a birth mom.  Our relationship has been so unique from the very beginning.

Lanie over at Unruffled Lanie got me thinking about my own thoughts about baby number 2 with her latest post.  Each month I do still wonder if by some miracle we'll get pregnant.  I also still wonder if I will ever get to the point where I want a biological child bad enough that I would seriously look into a sperm donor.  IVF is no longer an option in my mind at all.  Many factors figure in on the pregnancy part of having a child.  Farmie had a major adjustment when Jones came home and had I been through a birth myself I think it would have been 10 times worse.  Farmie also isn't really supportive of the donor idea, but I've never been to the point where I've wanted to push it either.  In an ideal world I think it would be best for Jones to have a biological sibling by the time he's 3.  And with the recent conversation with our birth mom that is a real possibility.  But the biological baby at least when it comes to one that is both mine and Farmie's is the biggest long shot of all and I've accepted that, but it's not to say I've given up.  I know anything is possible if it's meant to be and in the end I don't have any control over that.  

Jones is doing awesome!  He turned 6 months this weekend (how did that happen?!) and is 20 lbs 8.5 oz and 27 inches long.  He's a big boy and is such a happy baby.  Each new week is a new stage and a new development and I'm loving it.

2 comments:

Lanie said...

Wow! He really is a big boy! Ever is only about 24 pounds right now. I need to weigh her. I've heard some really great stories about adopted biological children. I think it's so neat when fostered or adopted kiddos can stay together. I hope your birth mom focuses on her life and moving on and you miraculously get pregnant, however if you have the opportunity to adopt another biological to jones, that would be a blessing for sure.

Good to hear your updates!

Nichole said...

He's a total chunk! I keep waiting for his weight gain and growth to slow down, but he's consistently gaining about an inch and a pound each month.